It's not uncommon to experience conflicting emotions when it comes to someone you miss. The reasons behind this can be complex and may vary from person to person, but here are some possible explanations for your feelings:
Past Connection: The feeling of missing someone often arises from the memory of positive experiences and emotional connections shared in the past. Even if you currently feel unhappy around them, the nostalgia for those good times can still make you miss them.
Ambivalence: Sometimes, we can have mixed feelings about someone, especially if the relationship was complicated or had its ups and downs. You might miss the positive aspects of the person and the relationship while also recognizing the negative or unhappy experiences.
Unresolved Issues: If there were unresolved conflicts or issues in the past, it can create a sense of longing or yearning to reconnect and find closure. This might be why you miss him even though you don't feel happy around him at present.
Fear of Change: Human emotions are complex, and you might also miss the familiarity and routine that comes with having someone in your life, even if the relationship isn't entirely positive. The uncertainty of what life will be like without him could trigger feelings of missing him.
Emotional Investment: If you invested a lot of time and emotions into the relationship, it's natural to feel a void or emptiness when that connection is no longer as fulfilling.
Changed Dynamics: Relationships can evolve and change over time, and the person you miss might not be the same person you're interacting with now. This change in dynamics can lead to a disconnect between your feelings of missing the past version of them and the reality of the present situation.
Personal Growth: Sometimes, personal growth and changing circumstances can lead to a shift in how we feel about someone. As you change and evolve, your feelings and perceptions of the relationship can also change.
It's important to take time to reflect on your emotions and consider what might be driving them. If you find that the relationship is causing more unhappiness than joy, it may be essential to reevaluate its significance in your life and consider whether it's a healthy and positive influence. If you're struggling to navigate your feelings, seeking support from friends, family, or a professional counselor can be beneficial in gaining clarity and understanding your emotions better. Ultimately, prioritizing your emotional well-being and making decisions that lead to a healthier and happier life is crucial.