Feelings are natural and often complex, so it's understandable that you might be experiencing a range of emotions, including feeling betrayed, in this situation. The concept of "guilt-free passes" can be tricky and may lead to mixed emotions for both partners. Here are some points to consider:
Communication: Make sure to talk openly with your girlfriend about how you are feeling. Share your emotions and concerns in a non-accusatory way. Effective communication can help both of you understand each other's perspectives and feelings.
Expectations and Boundaries: Reflect on the expectations and boundaries that were set when you agreed on guilt-free passes. Were there any specific agreements or rules about how you'd use them? If so, discuss whether those agreements were followed or if there was a misunderstanding.
Personal Values: Consider your personal values and beliefs about relationships. Everyone has different comfort levels when it comes to open relationships or "passes." It's essential to be honest with yourself about what you feel is acceptable within the context of your relationship.
Insecurities and Jealousy: Take time to examine whether your feelings of betrayal stem from underlying insecurities or jealousy. These emotions can arise in any relationship, and addressing them might be crucial for personal growth and emotional well-being.
Reevaluate the Concept: Reflect on whether the concept of guilt-free passes is genuinely working for your relationship. If it is causing distress, it might be necessary to reconsider such arrangements moving forward.
Trust and Commitment: Consider the overall health of your relationship. Trust and commitment are fundamental pillars of any successful relationship. Evaluate whether this situation has affected your trust in your partner or your commitment to each other.
Moving Forward: Determine how you want to proceed based on your feelings and the discussions you have with your partner. It might involve reaffirming your commitment, redefining boundaries, or reevaluating the guilt-free passes altogether.
Remember that there is no one-size-fits-all answer to this situation, and different people have different perspectives on relationships. It's essential to be true to yourself and your emotions while also being open to understanding your partner's perspective. If the situation becomes overwhelming or you find it challenging to navigate, consider seeking the guidance of a relationship counselor or therapist to help facilitate open communication and provide additional support.