Feeling a lack of love or negative emotions towards a parent can be a complex and multifaceted issue with various underlying reasons. While I'm not a mental health professional, I can offer some possible explanations for your feelings:
Past experiences: Negative or hurtful experiences with your mother in the past might have shaped your emotions towards her. Unresolved conflicts, feelings of abandonment, or emotional neglect can all contribute to feelings of detachment.
Communication breakdown: If there is a lack of open and healthy communication between you and your mother, it can hinder the development of a strong emotional bond.
Parent-child dynamics: Sometimes, the dynamics between parents and their children can be challenging. If there is a history of manipulation, control, or emotional abuse, it can lead to emotional distance.
Personal struggles: Your own personal struggles, such as mental health issues or stress, can impact your capacity to connect emotionally with others, including your mother.
Unmet expectations: Unmet expectations can lead to feelings of disappointment and resentment, which might affect how you perceive your relationship with your mother.
Comparisons: Comparing your relationship with your mother to others can create feelings of inadequacy and a sense of not having a "normal" or loving connection.
Life transitions: Major life changes, like moving away from home, getting married, or starting a family, can alter the dynamics between you and your mother.
It's essential to remember that feeling this way does not make you a bad person. Human emotions can be complex, and it's entirely normal to experience conflicting feelings, even towards family members.
If you're struggling with these emotions and they are causing distress, consider seeking support from a mental health professional. They can provide you with a safe space to explore your feelings and help you understand the underlying reasons for your emotions. Through therapy, you may find ways to improve your relationship with your mother or work towards acceptance and healing, regardless of the outcome.