When talking to your 7-year-old about your feelings, it's essential to approach the conversation with sensitivity and understanding. Here are some tips on how to communicate your feelings without making her feel sad:
Choose the Right Time: Pick a moment when both you and your child are relaxed and not in the middle of any activities or conflicts. Creating a calm environment can make it easier for your child to listen and respond.
Use "I" Statements: Frame your feelings using "I" statements to express how you feel without placing blame on your child. For example, say, "I feel a little sad sometimes when you choose to go to grandma's house on the weekends," rather than saying, "You always choose grandma over me."
Acknowledge Her Feelings: Show empathy and understanding towards her choice to spend time at grandma's house. Say something like, "I know you love spending time with grandma, and that's wonderful! I just miss you when you are not around."
Highlight Your Love: Reinforce your love for your child by saying, "I love you very much, and I enjoy spending time with you. I look forward to the weekends when we can do fun things together."
Offer Options: Give your child the freedom to choose by offering alternatives for spending time together. For example, say, "How about we plan something special to do together this weekend? We could go to the park or play your favorite game."
Be Patient: Children may need time to process their emotions and thoughts. Give her space to express her feelings and thoughts about the situation.
Focus on Quality Time: Rather than focusing solely on the quantity of time spent together, emphasize the importance of making the most of the time you do have together. Engage in activities that she enjoys and create positive memories.
Involve Grandma: If possible, involve grandma in the conversation and suggest that your child spends some time with both of you during the weekends, so she gets to enjoy time with both her grandma and you.
Remember that your child's feelings and preferences are valid, and it's normal for kids to have different attachments and enjoy spending time with different family members. By expressing your feelings with love and understanding, you can create a healthy and open environment for communication. Let her know that you value her choices while also appreciating the time you spend together.