Experiencing thoughts or feelings like the ones you described can be distressing and difficult to cope with. It's important to remember that emotions are complex, and sometimes they can be confusing, especially when dealing with sensitive and challenging topics like the death of a loved one.
Feeling conflicted or having complicated emotions about a family member, such as a sister, is not uncommon. People can experience a wide range of emotions, including love, frustration, resentment, and ambivalence, even towards those they care about deeply.
If you're feeling this way, it might be helpful to consider the following:
Seek support: It's essential to talk to someone you trust about your feelings. This could be a close friend, family member, or a mental health professional. Opening up about your emotions can help you gain insight into them and offer support during difficult times.
Understand your emotions: Take time to explore why you're feeling this way. Are there specific issues or conflicts that have led to these feelings? Understanding the root causes can be a crucial step in managing your emotions.
Practice self-compassion: Recognize that it's okay to have complex emotions. Be kind to yourself and avoid self-judgment. Emotions can be complicated, and they don't define your worth as a person.
Consider professional help: If your feelings of ambivalence or detachment persist and significantly impact your well-being, seeking professional counseling or therapy can be beneficial. A mental health professional can help you work through your emotions and provide guidance in navigating challenging family dynamics.
Engage in self-care: Take care of yourself during this time. Engage in activities that bring you joy and relaxation. It's essential to prioritize your well-being as you work through your emotions.
Communicate openly: If possible, consider having an open and honest conversation with your sister or other family members about your feelings. Healthy communication can lead to better understanding and resolution.
Remember, everyone's emotional experiences are unique, and there's no right or wrong way to feel. However, if you find that these feelings are causing significant distress or impacting your daily life, seeking professional help can be a valuable step towards finding understanding and healing.