There could be several reasons why you might feel like you upset people:
Communication style: The way you communicate, your tone, and choice of words can significantly impact how others perceive you. If you come across as aggressive, dismissive, or insensitive, it may lead to upsetting others.
Lack of empathy: Empathy plays a crucial role in understanding others' feelings and perspectives. If you struggle to empathize with others, you might unintentionally say or do things that upset them.
Misunderstandings: Communication is a complex process, and misunderstandings can happen easily. What you intend to convey may not always align with how others interpret your words or actions, leading to unintended upset.
Different values and beliefs: People have diverse values, beliefs, and cultural backgrounds. If your viewpoints clash with theirs or if you dismiss their values, it can create tension and upset.
Emotional state: Your emotional state can influence your interactions with others. If you're feeling stressed, anxious, or frustrated, it might impact your communication and lead to upsetting others.
Lack of self-awareness: Sometimes, individuals are not fully aware of how their words or behavior affect others. Developing self-awareness can help you understand the impact you have on people.
Past experiences: Previous experiences with someone might create a negative perception of you, causing them to be more sensitive or prone to feeling upset in your presence.
Assertiveness vs. aggressiveness: There's a fine line between being assertive and being aggressive. Being assertive is standing up for yourself while respecting others, while aggressiveness involves imposing opinions on others forcefully.
To improve your interactions and reduce upsetting people, consider the following steps:
Practice active listening: Pay attention to what others are saying and try to understand their perspectives.
Cultivate empathy: Put yourself in others' shoes to understand their feelings and motivations better.
Watch your tone and language: Be mindful of how you express yourself, and avoid being overly confrontational or dismissive.
Validate others' feelings: Acknowledge others' emotions even if you disagree with their opinions.
Seek feedback: Ask for honest feedback from people you trust to gain insights into how you come across to others.
Work on self-awareness: Reflect on your own behavior and emotions to understand how they impact your interactions.
Apologize if necessary: If you realize you've upset someone unintentionally, apologize sincerely and try to rectify the situation.
Remember, it's natural to have conflicts and disagreements with others from time to time. The key is to approach these situations with openness, respect, and a willingness to understand and learn from them.