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Feeling upset when someone gets angry at you is a common emotional response and can be attributed to various psychological and social factors. Here are some reasons why you might feel upset in such situations:

  1. Emotional sensitivity: Some individuals are more emotionally sensitive than others, which means they are more attuned to the emotions of those around them. When someone expresses anger towards a sensitive person, it can be particularly distressing and hurtful.

  2. Fear of conflict: Many people feel uncomfortable with conflict or negative emotions directed at them. The confrontation and potential for relationship strain can trigger feelings of anxiety or upset.

  3. Need for approval and validation: If you have a strong need for approval from others, especially the person expressing anger, their negative emotions can make you feel rejected or unworthy, leading to feelings of upset.

  4. Empathy: If you are naturally empathetic, you might feel upset when someone is angry because you can sense their emotional distress and might internalize it as your own.

  5. Past experiences: Past experiences of dealing with anger, especially if they were negative or traumatic, can influence your current emotional response. If you associate anger with past painful experiences, you may react more strongly to anger in the present.

  6. Desire to avoid conflict: Some people have a strong aversion to conflict and negative emotions in their relationships. Getting upset might be a way to cope with the discomfort of the situation.

  7. Self-criticism: Feeling upset when someone gets angry at you might be connected to self-critical thoughts, where you blame yourself for the situation and feel inadequate or at fault.

  8. Social conditioning: Societal norms and upbringing can play a role in how you respond to emotions, including anger. If you were taught that anger is a negative emotion and should be avoided, you might internalize those beliefs and feel upset when others display anger.

It's important to recognize that feeling upset when someone is angry at you is a natural reaction, and it's essential to acknowledge and validate your emotions. However, if these feelings are interfering with your well-being or relationships, it might be helpful to explore the underlying reasons behind your emotional response. Developing healthy coping strategies, assertiveness skills, and self-compassion can help you navigate challenging emotional situations more effectively. If you find it challenging to cope with these emotions on your own, seeking support from a therapist or counselor can provide valuable insights and guidance.

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