INFJ-INTJ pairings are considered rare in real life, despite being suggested as a potentially compatible match on personality tests, for several reasons:
Relatively Rare Personality Types: Both INFJs and INTJs are less common personality types in the general population. INFJs are estimated to make up about 1-2% of the population, while INTJs are around 2-4%. The rarity of these types means that the chances of two individuals of these types meeting and forming a relationship are naturally lower.
Social Circles and Environments: People often form relationships with individuals they encounter in their daily lives, such as at work, school, or within their social circles. If INFJs and INTJs are not well-represented in these environments, the probability of them meeting and connecting romantically is reduced.
Introversion and Selective Socialization: Both INFJs and INTJs tend to be introverted and may have smaller, more selective social circles. They may be less likely to actively seek out romantic partners in traditional social settings, making it less likely for them to encounter each other.
Communication Styles: INFJs and INTJs may have different communication styles and preferences. INFJs tend to be more emotionally expressive and may value emotional connection in their relationships. On the other hand, INTJs are often more focused on logic and may find it challenging to express their emotions. This difference in communication can present challenges in forming a strong romantic connection.
Idealization vs. Reality: On personality tests and in theory, INFJ-INTJ pairings may seem compatible due to shared cognitive functions and complementary traits. However, in reality, successful relationships depend on various factors beyond personality type, such as shared values, life goals, and effective communication.
Self-Selection Bias: People who are interested in personality typology and take personality tests may be more drawn to the idea of certain pairings, such as INFJ-INTJ, due to the positive descriptions and perceived compatibility. This self-selection bias could lead to a perception that these pairings are more common than they are in reality.
It's important to remember that successful relationships can occur between individuals of any personality type. While understanding and appreciating personality traits can offer valuable insights, compatibility and connection in real-life relationships are complex and multifaceted. The most important factors in any relationship are open communication, mutual respect, shared values, and emotional compatibility.