Yes, there can be a correlation between being angry at your mother-in-law and your husband, especially if you blame her for the way her son turned out. This situation can be complex and multi-faceted, and understanding the dynamics at play can be beneficial for addressing the underlying issues.
Here are some possible reasons why this correlation might exist:
Transference of Anger: Sometimes, people may project their unresolved feelings and anger towards their spouse onto other family members, such as the mother-in-law. If you are feeling frustrated or upset with your husband, it's possible to redirect some of that anger towards his mother, especially if you believe she influenced his behavior or upbringing.
Interference in the Relationship: If your mother-in-law is overly involved or intrusive in your relationship with your husband, it can create tension and resentment. This interference might exacerbate any existing issues and lead to feelings of anger towards her.
Unresolved Family Conflicts: Past or ongoing conflicts within your husband's family, including those involving his mother, can impact your relationship dynamics and cause emotions to spill over into your interactions with her.
Expectations and Differences: Conflicting expectations or differences in values and beliefs between you and your mother-in-law can lead to disagreements and contribute to feelings of anger.
Cultural and Social Norms: Cultural or social expectations about the roles of in-laws and the dynamics between spouses and their families can also play a role in the way you perceive and respond to your mother-in-law's actions or behaviors.
It's important to recognize that blaming someone else for the way another person turned out, such as blaming your mother-in-law for your husband's behavior, is not a healthy or constructive way to address relationship issues. Blame tends to create a negative and unproductive environment, hindering opportunities for growth and resolution.
If you find yourself struggling with anger towards your mother-in-law or your husband, consider seeking professional support. A relationship counselor or therapist can help you navigate and understand the underlying dynamics, improve communication, and develop healthier ways to address conflicts and emotions within the family system.
Remember, every family dynamic is unique, and seeking professional guidance can provide valuable insights and strategies tailored to your specific situation.