It's challenging to fully understand the dynamics of your relationship without more context, but there could be several reasons why your boyfriend reacts with anger and selfishness when you ask for money to buy things.
Financial Stress: Your boyfriend might be experiencing financial stress or difficulties, which can lead to frustration when asked for money. If he feels unable to meet your requests due to his own financial situation, he may become defensive or lash out.
Control Issues: Anger and selfishness in response to your requests for money could be a sign of control issues in the relationship. Some individuals use money as a means of control, which can manifest as a power struggle when you ask for financial support.
Different Money Values: You and your boyfriend may have different attitudes towards money and spending. If he is more conservative with money or has a scarcity mindset, he might react negatively to your spending requests.
Communication Problems: Poor communication skills can lead to misunderstandings and emotional reactions. If you both struggle to communicate openly and honestly about money matters, it can contribute to conflicts and negative emotions.
Personal Issues: Your boyfriend's reaction might be influenced by personal insecurities or unresolved emotional issues. Money can trigger deeper emotional responses related to self-worth, past experiences, or family dynamics.
Relationship Imbalance: If there is an imbalance in financial contributions or responsibilities within the relationship, it can create tension and resentment when money is brought up.
It's essential to address these issues and have an open and honest conversation with your boyfriend about how his reactions make you feel. Healthy relationships require understanding, empathy, and compromise. If the problems persist, consider seeking couples counseling to work through these issues together.
Remember that financial compatibility and communication about money are crucial aspects of a successful relationship. It's important to ensure both partners are on the same page and feel respected and supported in their financial needs and decisions.