When someone gets angry at you for feeling hurt after they have done something hurtful, it might be due to various underlying reasons:
Defensiveness: People might feel defensive when confronted with the consequences of their actions. Acknowledging that they have hurt someone may trigger feelings of guilt or shame, leading to a defensive response, such as anger, as a way to protect themselves from facing those emotions.
Insecurity or Fear of Rejection: Some individuals may react angrily because they fear being rejected or abandoned due to their hurtful behavior. They might be afraid that acknowledging their wrongdoing will lead to a damaged relationship or loss of trust.
Lack of Empathy: Some people struggle to empathize with the emotions of others, especially if it requires them to confront their own behavior. Instead of understanding your hurt, they may react with anger as a way to distance themselves from the situation.
Minimizing Responsibility: By getting angry at you for feeling hurt, they might be attempting to shift the focus away from their actions and make you question the validity of your emotions. This tactic aims to minimize their responsibility for the hurtful behavior.
Misinterpretation: In some cases, the person might misinterpret your expression of hurt as an attack on their character, causing them to react defensively and lash out in anger.
Poor Communication Skills: Some people struggle to effectively communicate and handle emotional situations. They might not know how to address the hurt they've caused, leading to a negative emotional response like anger.
Pattern of Unhealthy Coping: If the person has a history of unhealthy coping mechanisms, such as denial, avoidance, or blaming others, they might resort to anger as a way to deal with the situation.
Emotional Immaturity: Emotional maturity plays a significant role in how individuals handle conflicts and emotions. Someone who is emotionally immature might respond with anger rather than taking responsibility for their actions.
It's essential to remember that while understanding the reasons behind their behavior can be helpful, it does not excuse hurtful actions or dismiss your feelings. If someone is repeatedly hurting you and reacting with anger when you express your emotions, it may be necessary to set boundaries, seek support, or consider distancing yourself from the relationship if it becomes toxic or harmful. Healthy relationships involve open communication, empathy, and a willingness to address and learn from mistakes.