The reaction of getting angry when someone else gets angry at them, despite being the cause of the other person's anger, can be attributed to various psychological and emotional factors. Here are some possible reasons:
Defensive mechanism: When someone realizes that their actions have caused another person to become angry, they might feel guilty, embarrassed, or ashamed. In order to protect themselves from these negative emotions, they may instinctively respond with anger to deflect blame or to shift the focus away from their own actions.
Ego and pride: Human beings have a natural tendency to protect their ego and pride. Acknowledging that they were at fault and caused someone else's anger can be difficult for some people. As a result, they may react with anger to maintain their sense of self-importance and to avoid feeling weak or vulnerable.
Lack of self-awareness: Sometimes, individuals might not fully recognize or acknowledge their role in causing the other person's anger. They might be oblivious to their own behavior or might rationalize their actions as justified, making it easier for them to get angry in return.
Emotional reactivity: Some individuals are more emotionally reactive and quick to respond with anger in any tense situation. When confronted with someone else's anger, they may impulsively react with the same emotion, regardless of whether they were the cause.
Communication and coping skills: People with poor communication and coping skills may struggle to handle conflict effectively. Instead of addressing the issue calmly and taking responsibility for their actions, they resort to anger as a way to cope with the discomfort or perceived threat.
Learned behavior: Growing up in environments where anger was the primary way to deal with conflicts or disagreements can lead individuals to adopt the same behavior unconsciously. It becomes a learned response to any situation where they face anger from others.
It's important to note that different individuals may react differently to anger, and the reasons mentioned above are not exhaustive. Additionally, people can change their responses with self-awareness, personal growth, and learning healthier ways of dealing with conflicts. Therapy or counseling can also be beneficial for those struggling with managing their emotions and communication effectively.