There could be several reasons why your girlfriend might be angry when you express that you're hurt by her actions. It's important to remember that every individual and relationship is unique, so the specific reasons may vary. Here are some possible explanations:
Defensiveness: When someone is confronted with the fact that their actions have hurt another person, they may become defensive as a way to protect themselves emotionally. They might feel guilty or ashamed, and their anger could be a defensive mechanism to avoid facing those feelings.
Misunderstanding: Sometimes, the way you communicate your feelings might be misinterpreted by your girlfriend, leading to anger. She may feel attacked or criticized rather than understanding that you are expressing how her actions impacted you.
Emotional barriers: If your girlfriend has difficulty expressing her emotions or is uncomfortable with vulnerability, she may respond with anger as a way to distance herself from the situation.
Communication issues: If there are existing communication problems in the relationship, expressing hurt feelings might trigger an emotional response because it brings attention to those underlying issues.
Past experiences: Your girlfriend's reaction could be influenced by past experiences, traumas, or relationship patterns that are resurfacing due to the discussion about your hurt feelings.
Emotional disconnect: It's possible that your girlfriend may not fully understand the depth of your feelings or is unable to empathize with you at the moment, leading to anger instead of understanding.
Guilt and shame: If your girlfriend recognizes that her actions were hurtful, she may be feeling guilty or ashamed, and her anger might be a way to cope with those emotions.
Projection: Sometimes, people project their own feelings onto others, so your girlfriend's anger might not be directly related to your hurt feelings but rather her unresolved emotions.
It's essential to have open and honest communication in a relationship. If your girlfriend becomes angry when you express your hurt, it's crucial to address the situation calmly and respectfully. Try to create a safe space for both of you to discuss your feelings without judgment or hostility. Consider couples' counseling if you find it challenging to resolve these issues on your own, as a neutral third party can facilitate healthier communication and understanding.