Narcissists tend to react strongly with anger and hostility when someone reaches out to their "friends" and family with the truth about them because their behavior is driven by a fragile and inflated self-image. A few reasons explain this reaction:
Fear of exposure: Narcissists go to great lengths to maintain their carefully constructed façade of superiority and perfection. When someone exposes their true nature or flaws, it threatens their carefully crafted image, and they fear being seen as flawed or less than perfect.
Loss of control: Narcissists crave control over their image and relationships. When someone reaches out to others with the truth, it challenges their ability to control the narrative, and they may feel like they're losing power over the situation.
Lack of empathy: Narcissists have limited capacity for empathy and struggle to understand or relate to the feelings of others. They may not comprehend the impact of their actions on those around them, and so they may not understand why someone would share negative information about them.
Need for admiration: Narcissists seek constant admiration and validation from others. When someone exposes negative aspects of their behavior, it threatens the praise they desire, and they may perceive it as an attack on their self-worth.
Sense of entitlement: Narcissists often believe they are entitled to special treatment and that others should cater to their needs and wishes. The idea that someone would challenge their behavior and hold them accountable can be infuriating to them.
False self-defense: To protect their inflated self-image, narcissists may resort to denial, blame-shifting, and projecting their own flaws onto others. When confronted with the truth, their instinctive reaction may be to attack the person exposing them instead of self-reflecting or taking responsibility.
Manipulative tactics: Narcissists may resort to manipulation and gaslighting to discredit the person sharing the truth. They might spread lies, paint the person as mentally unstable, or exaggerate their positive qualities to undermine any criticism.
It's important to note that confronting a narcissist and exposing the truth about them can be emotionally challenging and even risky, as they might retaliate or escalate their behavior. If you find yourself dealing with a narcissist, seeking support from a therapist or counselor who specializes in dealing with personality disorders can be helpful in navigating such difficult situations. Additionally, setting healthy boundaries and prioritizing your own well-being is crucial when dealing with individuals who have narcissistic tendencies.