It is entirely normal to experience feelings of sadness, anxiety, or panic when around someone who has abused you, even if you have forgiven them. Forgiveness is a complex emotional process, and it does not necessarily mean that all negative emotions related to the abusive experience will disappear immediately. It is crucial to understand that healing from abuse is a journey that takes time, and the impact of the abuse can linger long after forgiveness has been granted.
There are several reasons why you may still experience such emotions:
Trauma: Experiencing abuse can cause deep emotional wounds and trauma. Even if you have forgiven the person, the traumatic memories may still be triggered by their presence or even the mere thought of them, leading to feelings of panic or anxiety.
Trust issues: Abuse can severely damage trust in others, particularly in the person who caused the harm. Even if you have forgiven them, it is natural to feel guarded and anxious around them due to fear of being hurt again.
Emotional processing: Forgiveness is a cognitive decision, but the emotional healing may take longer. It is common for feelings to take time to catch up with your decision to forgive.
Self-protection: Your feelings of sadness or anxiety might be a natural response to protect yourself from potential harm. These emotions act as warning signs to remind you to stay vigilant and safe in potentially triggering situations.
Coping mechanisms: Over time, you may develop coping mechanisms to handle the feelings associated with the abuse. Feeling anxious or sad may have become ingrained responses that require further healing to change.
If you find yourself struggling with these emotions and they are affecting your well-being and daily life, consider seeking support from a mental health professional. A therapist experienced in trauma and abuse can help you process these emotions, develop coping strategies, and work towards healing and recovery. Remember that healing is a journey, and it's okay to take the time you need to heal fully. Be gentle with yourself and prioritize your emotional well-being.