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Distinguishing between legitimate feelings and the influence of mental illness can be challenging, especially when dealing with depression. Here are some strategies to help you gain clarity and perspective on your emotions:

  1. Self-Reflection: Take some time to engage in self-reflection. Consider your emotions and thoughts when you're feeling relatively stable, not just during moments of intense distress. Reflect on how you felt about your husband before depression became a significant factor in your life.

  2. Keep a Journal: Writing down your thoughts and emotions in a journal can be helpful in identifying patterns and understanding the source of your feelings. This can also be valuable to share with a therapist or counselor.

  3. Talk to a Professional: Seek support from a mental health professional, such as a therapist or counselor, who can help you explore your feelings and provide an objective perspective. They can help you differentiate between genuine relationship issues and those influenced by depression.

  4. Consider External Stressors: Assess if there are any external stressors contributing to your emotions. Life events, work, family issues, or other factors may be influencing your feelings towards your husband.

  5. Engage in Couples Therapy: If your feelings towards your husband are causing significant distress, consider participating in couples therapy together. A professional therapist can assist both of you in understanding and addressing relationship dynamics and communication patterns.

  6. Monitor Changes in Mood: Pay attention to your mood fluctuations. If your feelings towards your husband significantly worsen during periods of depression and improve during better mental health phases, it could indicate that your emotions are partially influenced by the illness.

  7. Seek a Second Opinion: If you're unsure about your feelings and are already working with a mental health professional, seeking a second opinion from another therapist can provide additional insights.

  8. Give Yourself Grace: Remember that experiencing negative emotions or struggling with your relationship doesn't make you a bad person. It's essential to give yourself grace and understand that emotions can be complex and multifaceted.

  9. Avoid Making Impulsive Decisions: If you're going through a particularly challenging time with your mental health, try to avoid making significant decisions about your relationship while your emotions are heightened. Give yourself space and time to gain clarity.

It's important to acknowledge that mental illness can impact thoughts, emotions, and perceptions, but it doesn't mean your feelings are invalid. They still matter and deserve attention and understanding. Seeking professional help can provide you with the necessary tools to navigate these complex emotions and make informed decisions about your relationship.

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