It's essential to recognize that individual dynamics and relationships are complex and can be influenced by various factors. While I cannot know the specifics of your relationship with your mother, I can offer some possible explanations for her reaction:
Guilt and defensiveness: Your mother might feel guilty or defensive when you bring up your trauma because she might see it as a reflection of her parenting or feel responsible for the pain you experienced. As a result, she may react defensively to protect herself from feelings of inadequacy or guilt.
Difficulty handling emotions: Some people find it challenging to cope with emotional conversations, especially when it involves sensitive topics like trauma. She may not know how to respond appropriately, leading to defensiveness or assuming that you are blaming her.
Lack of understanding or awareness: Your mother might not fully comprehend the impact of trauma or how to respond supportively. This lack of awareness could lead to misunderstanding your intentions when sharing your pain.
Personal insecurities: If your mother has her own unresolved traumas or emotional struggles, discussing your trauma might trigger her own emotional responses or insecurities, causing her to react defensively.
Communication barriers: Sometimes, miscommunication can lead to misunderstandings and assumptions. It's possible that the way you communicate your pain unintentionally comes across differently than what you intend, leading to her feeling attacked or blamed.
Past history and unresolved issues: Past interactions and unresolved conflicts between you and your mother could influence how she interprets your statements. If there is a history of misunderstandings or miscommunication, it might amplify her sensitivity to certain topics.
If your mother consistently reacts defensively or assumes that you are trying to make her feel bad when you share your trauma, it could be beneficial to approach the topic with care and empathy. Consider choosing an appropriate time and place for such discussions and express your feelings in a non-blaming manner, emphasizing that you seek understanding and support.
However, if you find that communicating with your mother remains difficult and continues to affect your well-being, it might be helpful to seek guidance from a family therapist or counselor. A professional can provide a neutral environment and facilitate healthier communication patterns between you and your mother, fostering a more supportive and understanding relationship.