It is concerning that your boyfriend is telling you that past trauma issues should be gone if you really love him. This statement is not only invalidating your feelings and experiences but also demonstrates a lack of understanding and empathy for the impact of trauma on individuals.
Trauma is a deeply personal and complex experience, and healing from it takes time and support. It cannot simply be erased or ignored because someone else wants it to be gone. Your feelings and struggles are valid, and it's essential to prioritize your emotional well-being and healing process.
Additionally, if your relationship with your boyfriend is causing issues with your family, it's crucial to assess the dynamics at play. Healthy relationships should not isolate you from your support system, such as your family and close friends. If your family is expressing concerns about your relationship, it's essential to listen to their perspective and consider their input.
Here are some steps you can take to address these issues:
Communicate openly with your boyfriend: Express how his statement about your trauma makes you feel and why it is hurtful. A healthy partner should be understanding and supportive of your journey to healing.
Seek professional support: Consider speaking with a therapist or counselor to work through your trauma and any relationship challenges you are facing. They can provide guidance on healthy coping mechanisms and communication strategies.
Set boundaries: Ensure you have clear boundaries in your relationship, and communicate them to your boyfriend. Boundaries are essential for maintaining emotional well-being and ensuring healthy interactions.
Assess the relationship: Reflect on your relationship and evaluate if it is genuinely supportive and nurturing for your personal growth and well-being. A healthy relationship should be built on mutual respect, trust, and understanding.
Listen to your family's concerns: Take the time to understand your family's perspective and consider their feedback. While the ultimate decision about your relationship is yours to make, their insights can provide valuable perspectives.
Seek support from friends and family: Surround yourself with a supportive network of friends and family who can offer understanding, empathy, and advice.
Prioritize self-care: Focus on your own well-being and healing process. Take care of yourself physically, emotionally, and mentally.
Remember, your experiences and emotions are valid, and you deserve to be in a relationship that respects and supports your healing journey. If your current relationship is not providing the support you need, it might be necessary to reassess its overall health and consider making decisions that prioritize your well-being.