I can provide some insights on how a person might respond to such a statement.
If someone's narcissist ex's mother said, "You are responsible for your trauma and dealing with that. Then you won't attract abusive people," it could be a hurtful and invalidating statement. Here are some possible reactions and considerations:
Hurt and anger: Hearing such a statement from someone could trigger feelings of hurt and anger, especially if the person has experienced significant trauma. It may feel like the blame is being shifted onto the survivor, which can be extremely invalidating.
Invalidating: The statement can be invalidating of the person's experiences and emotions. It's essential to remember that trauma is not the survivor's fault, and blaming them for attracting abuse is inappropriate.
Awareness of narcissistic tendencies: Recognizing that the person making the statement is related to a narcissistic ex might help put the remark into context. Narcissists often lack empathy and may have difficulty understanding the impact of their words on others.
Seeking support: It's essential to seek support from understanding and empathetic individuals who can provide validation and help process these emotions. This might include friends, family, or mental health professionals.
Understanding boundaries: In cases where interactions with a narcissistic individual or their family can be harmful, setting and enforcing boundaries may be necessary for emotional well-being.
Self-compassion: Engaging in self-compassion practices and reminding oneself that the trauma is not their fault can be essential in countering the impact of hurtful statements.
Remember that dealing with trauma is a complex and sensitive process. Seeking professional help, such as therapy, can be instrumental in healing from the effects of trauma and building healthier relationships in the future.