It's entirely normal to have a desire for empathy and emotional validation when sharing traumatic experiences in therapy. As humans, we seek understanding, support, and compassion, especially when discussing sensitive and emotionally charged topics like trauma. Seeing signs of sadness or empathy in your therapist's face can be validating because it shows that they are genuinely connecting with and understanding your emotions and experiences.
The desire for your therapist to cry might stem from several reasons:
Validation: Witnessing your therapist's emotional reaction might feel like validation of the significance and impact of your trauma. It can reinforce that your experiences are real and valid.
Empathy: It's natural to seek empathy from others, especially in therapeutic relationships, where empathy is a crucial component of healing and building trust.
Bonding: Emotional reactions can deepen the therapeutic bond, making you feel more connected and cared for, which can enhance the therapeutic process.
Relatability: Seeing your therapist display emotions might make you feel less alone, as it suggests they can relate to your pain and understand your perspective.
Safe Expression: Witnessing your therapist express emotions might make you feel safer to express your own emotions fully.
Vulnerability: It's not uncommon for individuals to want their therapist to be open and vulnerable in the therapeutic relationship as well.
While these feelings are entirely valid and understandable, it's essential to recognize that therapists are trained to maintain professional boundaries. They must balance empathetic support with maintaining a therapeutic space focused on your well-being.
Your therapist's role is to provide a safe and nonjudgmental environment for you to explore your feelings and experiences. They may express empathy and understanding through active listening, validation, and reflections rather than overt emotional displays.
If you find that this desire for your therapist's emotional reaction becomes a significant barrier or hinders your progress in therapy, it might be helpful to discuss these feelings openly with your therapist. They can help you understand and explore these emotions further, offering insights into your healing journey and the therapeutic relationship. Remember that therapy is about working together, and open communication can strengthen the therapeutic process.