This emotional detachment may result from trying to suppress painful memories and emotions associated with the past. As a result, you may feel disconnected from the child part of yourself, leading to feelings of hatred or self-loathing.
Self-blame: Sometimes, individuals who have experienced childhood trauma may internalize the blame and believe they were somehow responsible for what happened to them. This self-blame can lead to feelings of hatred towards the inner child who experienced the trauma.
Shame and guilt: Traumatic experiences can create feelings of shame and guilt. You might feel ashamed of the child part of yourself, associating it with vulnerability and powerlessness. These emotions can manifest as self-hatred.
Unresolved emotions: Trauma often leaves a trail of unresolved emotions, including anger, fear, and sadness. If these emotions are not processed and addressed, they can turn inward, leading to self-directed anger and hatred.
Identity fragmentation: Severe childhood trauma can cause identity fragmentation, where different aspects of the self feel disconnected or in conflict with one another. Hatred towards the inner child might be a reflection of this internal struggle.
Coping mechanism: For some individuals, feeling hatred towards their inner child may serve as a coping mechanism to distance themselves from the pain and vulnerability associated with the trauma.
It's essential to recognize that these feelings are complex and may not have a simple explanation. Working with a qualified mental health professional, such as a therapist or counselor, can be incredibly valuable in exploring and understanding these emotions. Therapy can help you process the trauma, develop self-compassion, and work towards healing and integration.
Remember, healing from severe childhood trauma is a journey that takes time, patience, and self-compassion. Be kind to yourself and seek professional help to support you through this process.