I'm really sorry to hear that you're going through such a difficult and painful situation. Dealing with a trauma bond, especially with a partner who has Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD), can be incredibly challenging and emotionally overwhelming.
Here are some steps you can consider taking to help yourself in this situation:
Seek professional help: Reach out to a mental health professional or therapist who has experience in dealing with trauma and narcissistic abuse. They can provide you with validation, support, and guidance tailored to your specific circumstances. Having a professional who believes and understands your experiences can be invaluable in your healing journey.
Join support groups: Look for online or in-person support groups for survivors of narcissistic abuse or trauma bonding. Connecting with others who have gone through similar experiences can offer validation, empathy, and a sense of community.
Establish boundaries: Set clear and firm boundaries with your husband to protect your emotional well-being. Limit or cut off contact if possible, and prioritize your safety and mental health.
Reach out to friends or other trusted individuals: Share your experiences with people you trust, even if your family doesn't believe you. Having someone to talk to and lean on can help you feel less isolated.
Educate yourself about NPD and trauma bonding: Understanding the dynamics of NPD and trauma bonding can be empowering and help you gain insight into your experiences.
Focus on self-care: Take time to engage in activities that bring you joy and relaxation. Prioritize self-compassion and be patient with yourself as you heal.
Consider legal and safety options: If you feel physically or emotionally unsafe, explore legal options, such as restraining orders or seeking advice from a lawyer. Your safety should always be a top priority.
Document your experiences: Keeping a journal or records of incidents and emotional abuse can be helpful if you need to refer back to them in the future or if you decide to take legal action.
Seek validation from within: It's crucial to remember that you are not alone, and your experiences are valid. Trust your instincts and intuition about your situation.
Stay persistent in seeking support: If some people don't believe you initially, keep reaching out to others who might be more understanding and supportive. Seek out professionals or organizations that specialize in supporting survivors of narcissistic abuse.
Remember that healing from trauma takes time, and it's okay to lean on others for support. You deserve to be treated with respect and compassion, and there are resources and people out there who can provide the help you need. Reach out to the appropriate resources, and don't hesitate to ask for help if you feel overwhelmed or unsafe.