I'm sorry to hear that you're going through such a challenging situation. It's essential to be in a supportive and understanding relationship, especially when dealing with childhood trauma. Here are some steps you can consider:
Communicate openly: Talk to your boyfriend about how his actions are affecting you. Explain that bringing up your childhood trauma during arguments is hurtful and counterproductive to resolving conflicts.
Set boundaries: Clearly express your boundaries and let him know that using your trauma against you is unacceptable. Boundaries are essential in any healthy relationship.
Seek empathy and understanding: Help your boyfriend understand the impact of childhood trauma and how it might affect your responses to certain situations. Encourage him to educate himself on the topic if he is willing.
Evaluate the relationship: Reflect on the overall dynamics of the relationship. Assess whether your boyfriend is genuinely supportive and understanding outside of arguments. If this behavior persists, consider whether the relationship is healthy for you.
Seek professional support: If your boyfriend is open to it, consider attending couples therapy to work through communication issues and understand each other better.
Prioritize self-care: Take care of yourself during this challenging time. Surround yourself with supportive friends, family, or seek support from a therapist or counselor if needed.
Consider seeking advice from loved ones: Talk to trusted friends or family members about your situation. They may offer valuable insights or perspectives.
Recognize red flags: Using someone's vulnerabilities against them and resorting to name-calling like "narcissist" can be signs of emotional abuse. Be aware of any patterns of behavior that may be harmful to your well-being.
Remember that you deserve to be treated with respect, empathy, and understanding. If your boyfriend is unwilling to change his behavior and support you through your healing process, it might be necessary to reevaluate the relationship's long-term compatibility. Prioritizing your well-being is crucial, and if the relationship is negatively impacting your mental health, it may be better to seek support elsewhere.