I'm really sorry to hear that you're going through such a challenging and painful situation. Dealing with childhood trauma and a lack of support from a parent can be incredibly difficult. Here are some steps you can consider taking to address your current situation:
Seek Professional Help: Consider reaching out to a mental health professional, such as a therapist, counselor, or psychologist. They can provide you with a safe and supportive space to process your experiences, emotions, and trauma. A professional can also help you develop coping strategies and work through the impact of your past experiences on your current mental health.
Build a Support Network: Surround yourself with supportive and understanding individuals, such as friends or other family members, who can offer emotional support and validation. Connecting with people who care about your well-being can be crucial in your healing journey.
Set Boundaries: If you're currently in contact with your mother and her presence continues to negatively impact your mental health, it may be necessary to set boundaries. Limiting or reducing contact can help protect your well-being.
Practice Self-Care: Engage in self-care activities that promote emotional and mental well-being. This may include exercise, meditation, journaling, pursuing hobbies, or spending time in nature.
Consider Support Groups: Look for support groups or online communities that focus on trauma survivors or individuals who have experienced challenging family dynamics. Connecting with others who have gone through similar experiences can provide understanding and validation.
Explore Forgiveness and Closure: Forgiveness is a complex and personal process. It may not be about excusing your mother's behavior but rather freeing yourself from the burden of carrying resentment. Seeking closure can be a part of your healing journey, but remember that forgiveness is a choice and not an obligation.
Set Realistic Expectations: Healing from trauma takes time and effort, so be patient with yourself. Set realistic expectations for your progress and be gentle with yourself during the healing process.
Focus on Personal Growth: Channel your energy into personal growth and self-improvement. Set goals for yourself, and work on building a life that brings you joy and fulfillment.
Remember that your well-being is essential, and seeking help and support is a sign of strength, not weakness. Healing from childhood trauma can be a challenging journey, but with the right support and resources, it is possible to find a path to recovery and well-being.