Dealing with feelings of resentment towards a parent, especially when you've come to understand the impact of childhood emotional trauma, can be challenging. It's important to recognize that your emotions are valid and natural responses to your experiences. Here are some steps that may help you work through these feelings:
Seek Supportive Spaces: Consider talking to a therapist or counselor about your emotions and experiences. A professional can provide a safe and non-judgmental environment to explore and process your feelings.
Practice Self-Compassion: Be gentle with yourself and recognize that it's normal to have conflicting emotions towards a parent who has been difficult. Accept that it's okay to feel the way you do and avoid self-blame for your emotions.
Identify and Understand Triggers: Try to identify specific situations or behaviors that trigger your feelings of resentment. Understanding your triggers can help you gain insights into why you feel this way and how to cope with these emotions.
Set Boundaries: If you find that interactions with your mom are consistently triggering negative emotions, consider setting healthy boundaries to protect your well-being. This might include limiting contact or taking breaks from the relationship when needed.
Practice Empathy: While acknowledging the impact of your childhood experiences, try to develop empathy towards your mom. Recognize that she may have had her own struggles and challenges that influenced her behavior.
Journaling: Writing about your feelings and experiences can be a helpful way to process your emotions and gain clarity.
Seek Understanding: If you feel comfortable and your mom is open to it, consider having an open and honest conversation with her about your experiences and emotions. This can be an opportunity for both of you to gain a deeper understanding of each other.
Focus on Personal Growth: Work on building self-awareness and addressing any patterns or behaviors that you've identified as being influenced by your childhood experiences. Engaging in personal growth and self-improvement can be empowering.
Consider Forgiveness: Forgiveness doesn't mean condoning or excusing harmful behavior. It's about releasing yourself from the burden of carrying resentment. It might be a gradual process, and it's okay to take your time.
Remember, healing from past traumas and working through complex emotions takes time and effort. Be patient with yourself and remember that seeking professional support can be an essential part of the healing process.