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I'm sorry to hear that you're going through such a challenging time. Breaking free from a trauma bond and recovering from a relationship with a narcissist can be incredibly difficult, but it is possible. Here are some steps to help you stop thoughts of contacting him and begin healing from this experience:

  1. Educate yourself about narcissistic abuse: Understanding the dynamics of narcissistic abuse can help you make sense of what you went through. It can also validate your feelings and experiences, which is crucial for healing.

  2. No contact: Going no contact is essential to breaking the trauma bond. It might be tough initially, but it is necessary for your emotional well-being and recovery. Resist the urge to contact him, even if he initiates contact after the two months.

  3. Seek support: Talk to friends, family, or a support group about your experiences. Having a supportive network can help you feel understood and validated during this difficult time.

  4. Therapy: Consider seeking therapy with a mental health professional experienced in trauma and narcissistic abuse. Therapy can provide a safe space to process your emotions, gain insights, and develop coping strategies.

  5. Set boundaries: Learning to establish and maintain healthy boundaries is essential for healing and preventing further manipulation or abuse.

  6. Focus on self-care: Engage in activities that bring you joy and relaxation. This could include hobbies, exercise, spending time in nature, or any activities that help you feel grounded and nurtured.

  7. Journaling: Writing down your thoughts and feelings can be therapeutic. It allows you to release emotions and gain perspective on your healing journey.

  8. Practice mindfulness: Mindfulness techniques, such as meditation and deep breathing, can help you stay present and manage anxiety or intrusive thoughts.

  9. Affirmations: Create positive affirmations to remind yourself of your worth and strength. Repeat them daily to reinforce self-compassion and confidence.

  10. Limit triggers: Try to minimize exposure to triggers that remind you of the past relationship or the narcissist. This may include blocking or unfollowing them on social media.

  11. Avoid self-blame: Recognize that the trauma bond and manipulation were not your fault. Be kind to yourself and avoid blaming yourself for what happened.

  12. Celebrate progress: Healing takes time, and there may be setbacks along the way. Celebrate the progress you make, no matter how small it may seem.

Remember, healing from a trauma bond and narcissistic abuse is a process, and it's okay to take things one step at a time. Be patient with yourself and prioritize your well-being. If you find yourself struggling or feeling overwhelmed, consider reaching out to a mental health professional who can provide tailored support and guidance throughout your healing journey.

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