It can be frustrating and disheartening when you feel like your therapist and friend are not fully acknowledging or addressing the specific issues and difficulties you've experienced with trust. While it is common for therapists to explore the relationship with parents as it often shapes an individual's early attachment and emotional experiences, it is essential for them to also recognize and validate the impact of other relationships and experiences in your life.
Here are a few possible reasons why your therapist and friend may keep relating your difficulties with trust back to your relationship with your parents:
Attachment theory: Therapists often consider attachment theory, which suggests that early experiences with caregivers (typically parents) can influence how we form relationships and trust in adulthood. While this theory can offer valuable insights, it's crucial to recognize that it is not the only factor that shapes trust issues.
Unconscious patterns: Sometimes, people may unconsciously repeat certain relationship patterns, including trust issues, throughout their lives. Therapists may explore these patterns to gain a deeper understanding of your experiences and how they may relate to early relationships.
Safe starting point: For therapists, discussing your relationship with parents can be a safe starting point to delve into trust issues. It allows them to understand some foundational experiences in your life, but it doesn't mean that they should ignore other significant experiences that have impacted your trust in others.
Incomplete picture: Your therapist and friend might not have a comprehensive understanding of the full extent of your experiences with friends and women. If you feel they are not addressing your concerns adequately, it's crucial to communicate this to them and provide more context about your specific experiences.
It's essential for therapy to be a collaborative process, and you have the right to express your feelings and share your experiences openly. If you feel that your therapist is not adequately addressing your concerns, consider discussing this with them directly. Let them know about your experiences with friends and women and how it has influenced your trust issues. A good therapist should be receptive to your feedback and adapt their approach to better meet your needs.
In therapy, it's essential to work with a professional who respects your individual experiences and tailors their approach to address your unique challenges and goals. If you find that your concerns are consistently overlooked or dismissed, it may be worth considering seeking a second opinion from another therapist who can offer a fresh perspective.