A therapist might be upset or discouraged if you insist on Googling or trying to figure out your broken relationship with a narcissistic person for a few reasons:
Misinformation and Bias: The internet is full of information, and not all of it is accurate or helpful. When researching without guidance, you may come across articles, forums, or self-help content that perpetuate myths or reinforce biased viewpoints. This could lead to misunderstandings, increased anxiety, and unproductive coping strategies.
Self-Diagnosis and Overidentification: When individuals read about narcissism or other mental health issues, they might start to self-diagnose or overidentify with certain traits. This can be misleading and potentially harmful, as only a qualified mental health professional can diagnose such conditions accurately.
Complexity of Relationships: Relationships, especially those involving narcissistic individuals, can be highly complex. It is easy to oversimplify or misinterpret the dynamics at play. A therapist can help you navigate these complexities in a safe and structured way.
Emotional Overload: Researching about narcissism and broken relationships can trigger strong emotional responses. A therapist might want to ensure that you are emotionally prepared to deal with the information and that you have appropriate support while processing your feelings.
Focus on Self-Work: A therapist's role is to guide you through the healing process and help you develop healthier coping mechanisms and communication skills. If you focus too much on researching narcissism, it might divert your attention from the necessary work you need to do for yourself.
Comparing Experiences: Reading about other people's experiences with narcissistic individuals might lead you to compare your situation with theirs, potentially invalidating your emotions or making you feel that your struggles are not as significant.
Therapeutic Alliance: Open communication and trust are essential in therapy. By solely relying on external sources, you might inadvertently undermine the therapeutic relationship, which can hinder progress in therapy.
It's important to clarify with your therapist why they prefer you not to Google or independently research the topic. Most likely, they want to ensure that your therapeutic journey is structured, safe, and focused on your specific needs. If you are curious about narcissism or have questions about your relationship, it's best to discuss them openly with your therapist during your sessions, so they can provide you with accurate information and tailored support.