Feeling betrayed in the situation you described is completely understandable. It appears that your therapist's statements are contradictory, which can be confusing and create a sense of mistrust in the therapeutic relationship.
Therapists are trained to maintain professional boundaries and avoid forming personal relationships with their clients outside of therapy. This is to ensure that the focus remains on the client's well-being and not on the therapist's personal desires or needs.
If your therapist has said many times that you would be close friends or romantic partners under different circumstances, it raises ethical concerns about the therapist's ability to maintain appropriate boundaries and the objectivity required in therapy. This kind of behavior is not in line with the professional guidelines and ethical standards that therapists are expected to follow.
It's crucial to have clarity in the therapeutic relationship and to be able to trust your therapist. If you feel uncomfortable or uneasy about your therapist's statements, it's essential to address these concerns with them directly. Openly communicating your feelings can lead to a productive discussion and may help you understand their perspective better.
If, after discussing your concerns, you still feel uncomfortable or if the issue is not adequately addressed, it may be time to consider finding a new therapist who can provide you with a more supportive and ethical therapeutic relationship. Remember that therapy should be a safe and supportive space, and you deserve to have a therapist who respects boundaries and acts professionally at all times.