When your therapist seems to be talking at you instead of with you, it can be indicative of certain dynamics in the therapeutic relationship or communication style. Here are some possible reasons for this behavior:
Lack of Empathy: If your therapist appears to be talking at you, they might struggle to empathize or connect with your experiences and emotions. Empathy is a fundamental aspect of effective therapy, and if it's lacking, it can hinder the therapeutic process.
One-Way Communication: Therapeutic sessions should involve a two-way dialogue, with both you and your therapist actively participating in the conversation. If your therapist dominates the conversation and doesn't encourage your input or questions, it may create a sense of distance or disconnection.
Providing Advice Rather Than Listening: Some therapists may have a more directive approach, providing advice or solutions instead of actively listening and exploring your thoughts and feelings. While guidance can be helpful at times, it's crucial for therapists to allow clients to express themselves freely.
Misalignment of Communication Styles: Different people have varying communication styles, and sometimes, there may be a mismatch between your preferred style and your therapist's approach. This mismatch can lead to a sense of being talked at rather than feeling engaged in a meaningful conversation.
Therapist's Own Issues: Therapists, like everyone else, can have their own personal challenges or stressors that might affect their ability to be fully present and engaged during sessions. This could manifest as talking at the client rather than fostering a collaborative dialogue.
Therapist's Lack of Awareness: Sometimes, therapists might not be fully aware of how their communication style is being perceived by the client. They may unintentionally come across as talking at the client instead of fostering a more interactive exchange.
Early Stages of Therapy: In the early stages of therapy, it's possible for therapists to take a more information-gathering approach to understand the client's background and concerns better. As therapy progresses, a more collaborative and interactive style should develop.
If you find yourself feeling talked at rather than engaged in the therapeutic process, it's essential to address this concern with your therapist. Open and honest communication is crucial in therapy, and discussing your feelings and needs can lead to a more productive and beneficial therapeutic experience. If, after discussing your concerns, you still feel uncomfortable with the therapeutic approach, you may consider exploring the possibility of finding a new therapist whose style aligns better with your preferences and needs.