It's important to handle this situation with sensitivity and respect for the other person's feelings. Here's a step-by-step guide on how to kindly let the guy know that you don't want to text or see him:
Choose the right time and place: If possible, have this conversation in person or over a phone call. Texting might come across as cold and impersonal for this type of message.
Be honest but gentle: Start the conversation by expressing gratitude for the time you spent together and any positive memories you have. Then, gently transition into the fact that you're at a different place now and feel it's best not to continue texting or meeting up.
Be clear and direct: It's essential to clearly communicate your boundaries. Avoid ambiguous or mixed signals that might give the impression of potential future interaction.
Use "I" statements: Frame your message using "I" statements to emphasize that this is about your feelings and needs. For example, "I've been reflecting on things, and I feel it's best for me not to continue texting or hanging out."
Express appreciation: Acknowledge any positive aspects of your past interactions and friendships. This helps to soften the message and shows that you value the time you spent together.
Avoid blame or criticism: Stay away from blaming the other person or criticizing their behavior. Focus on your own feelings and the changes you've experienced over time.
Set boundaries: If you want to maintain some level of distance, it's okay to express that. You could say something like, "I hope you understand that I need some space right now."
Stay firm and polite: The person might try to convince you otherwise or ask for more explanations. Stay firm in your decision while maintaining a respectful and polite tone.
Example message:
"Hey [His Name],
I hope you're doing well. I've been doing some thinking and reflecting on things, and I wanted to be honest with you about how I feel. I genuinely appreciate the time we spent together and the memories we shared from years ago.
However, I've realized that I'm in a different place now and my life has taken me in new directions. As a result, I don't think it's a good idea for us to continue texting or hanging out. I hope you can understand and respect my need for some space.
I want to emphasize that this decision is about where I am personally and doesn't reflect on you as a person. I just believe it's best for both of us to move forward separately.
Thank you for understanding, and I wish you all the best.
Take care, [Your Name]"
Remember, it's essential to be kind, honest, and respectful throughout this conversation. While the other person may feel disappointed initially, handling the situation with care will help minimize any hurt feelings.