The way people handle conflict and disagreements can vary significantly from person to person. It's not necessarily "bad" for your girlfriend to want to avoid discussing arguments and conflicts, but it can be challenging for you, especially if you prefer to address issues through open communication.
It's important to recognize that different individuals have different coping mechanisms and communication styles when it comes to dealing with conflicts. Some people may prefer to avoid confrontation, hoping that the issue will resolve itself over time or that discussing it might lead to further tension. Others might need time to process their emotions before engaging in a conversation.
However, while it's not inherently bad for your girlfriend to avoid discussing conflicts, it can become problematic if it hinders the resolution of issues or leads to unresolved tension in the relationship. Avoiding discussions altogether might cause the problems to accumulate over time, leading to more significant challenges in the future.
Here are some steps you can take to address the situation:
Choose the right time: Find an appropriate time to talk when both of you are relatively calm and not in the heat of the moment. This allows for a more constructive and less emotionally charged conversation.
Be patient and understanding: If your girlfriend needs time to process her emotions, give her the space she needs. Avoid pressuring her to talk immediately after an argument.
Express your feelings: Let her know how you feel about the situation and your need for open communication to resolve conflicts. Be gentle and avoid blaming or accusing her.
Find a compromise: Consider finding a middle ground between your desire to talk and her preference to avoid conflict. You could agree on a timeframe to revisit the issue when both of you are ready.
Listen actively: When you do have conversations about conflicts, make sure to actively listen to her perspective without interrupting or becoming defensive. Try to understand her point of view.
Seek professional help if needed: If you find that communication issues persist and are affecting the relationship negatively, consider seeking the guidance of a couples' therapist or counselor. A professional can help facilitate healthier communication and conflict resolution.
Ultimately, a healthy relationship requires effective communication and the willingness to address conflicts constructively. It might take time and effort to find a balance that works for both of you, but open and honest communication is crucial for the long-term success of your relationship.