It can be frustrating and hurtful when someone you care about doesn't listen to you, especially when discussing important matters. If you have already communicated your concerns to your boyfriend multiple times, and the behavior persists, here are some steps you can take:
Have a calm and honest conversation: Sit down with your boyfriend at a time when both of you are relaxed and not distracted. Express your feelings and concerns about not feeling heard when you talk about important things. Use "I" statements to avoid sounding accusatory, such as "I feel hurt and unheard when I try to talk about important issues, and you cut me off to talk about something else."
Explain the impact: Let him know how his behavior makes you feel and how it affects your connection with him. Help him understand that active listening is essential for a healthy and supportive relationship.
Encourage active listening: Talk about the importance of active listening in a relationship and how it involves being fully present and engaged in the conversation. Suggest that both of you make an effort to listen attentively when the other person is speaking.
Set boundaries: If his phone use is a major source of distraction, agree on setting boundaries regarding phone usage during important conversations. For example, you could both agree to put phones away or on silent during meaningful discussions.
Ask for feedback: Make sure you give him an opportunity to share his perspective on the situation as well. Encourage open communication and ask if there's anything he would like to improve in the relationship.
Seek compromise: Be open to finding a middle ground that works for both of you. Maybe you can agree on specific times for focused conversations, or he can let you know if he needs a break to tend to something urgent.
Consider relationship counseling: If the issue persists despite your efforts to communicate and find a resolution, you might consider seeking the help of a relationship counselor. A neutral third party can provide insights and guidance to improve communication and address underlying issues.
Remember that communication is a two-way street, and both partners should be actively involved in understanding and supporting each other. If your boyfriend continues to disregard your feelings and does not make an effort to change his behavior, it may be worth considering if this pattern is indicative of a deeper problem in the relationship. Your emotional well-being and feeling heard in the relationship are essential, so prioritize your needs and make decisions accordingly.