Experiencing depersonalization, feeling like you have lost your personality, and feeling like yourself only in the evening could be indicative of a psychological phenomenon known as "dissociation." Dissociation is a defense mechanism that the mind uses to cope with overwhelming stress, trauma, or anxiety. It involves a temporary disconnection from one's thoughts, feelings, identity, or surroundings.
Depersonalization is a specific form of dissociation where an individual feels detached from themselves, as if they are observing their thoughts, emotions, or actions from a distance. It can create a sense of unreality or detachment from one's own body, emotions, and identity.
The fact that you feel more like yourself in the evening might be related to various factors, such as:
Daily stress and fatigue: The accumulation of stress and fatigue throughout the day might exacerbate feelings of detachment and depersonalization. As the day comes to an end, you may start to relax, and these symptoms may temporarily alleviate.
Routines and familiarity: Evening routines or activities that you find comforting and familiar might help you feel more grounded and connected to yourself.
Coping mechanisms: You might have developed specific coping strategies over time that become more accessible or effective in the evening, helping you manage the depersonalization symptoms.
It's essential to recognize that dissociation, including depersonalization, is a coping mechanism and not a permanent loss of personality. However, experiencing dissociation regularly can be distressing and may affect your daily life and functioning.
If you find that these symptoms are interfering with your well-being and daily activities, it's crucial to seek professional help. A mental health professional, such as a therapist or counselor, can work with you to understand the underlying causes of the dissociation and provide appropriate guidance and treatment.
Treatment for dissociation may include therapies like Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy (CBT), Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT), or Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR), depending on the specific triggers and underlying issues. Medication may also be considered in some cases to manage any associated anxiety or depression.
Remember that seeking help is a positive step towards understanding and addressing these feelings, and with the right support, you can work toward managing dissociation and improving your overall well-being.