It's challenging to determine the exact motives behind someone's actions, especially when dealing with individuals who have complex personality traits like narcissism and sociopathy. However, I can offer some possible explanations for your ex-husband's behavior:
Manipulation: Narcissists and sociopaths are known for their manipulative behavior. By thanking you for giving him three beautiful children, he might be trying to manipulate your emotions or maintain a certain image of himself in your eyes. This could be a way to keep you engaged, seek validation, or gain sympathy.
Ego Boost: Narcissists often have an inflated sense of self-importance and crave admiration and compliments. Thanking you for the children could be a way for him to receive praise or feel good about himself, even if he doesn't genuinely appreciate or value your contributions as a parent.
Maintaining a Connection: Even after a breakup, some individuals with narcissistic or sociopathic tendencies may want to keep a connection with their ex-partner for various reasons, such as maintaining control or using them as a backup option. Expressing gratitude for the children might be a way to keep communication lines open.
Strategic Move: People with these personality traits often engage in calculated actions to achieve their goals. Thanking you for the children might be part of a larger strategy to influence or manipulate you, especially if there's something he wants from you or hopes to gain.
Superficial Social Norms: Some individuals with narcissistic traits can mimic socially expected behaviors, even if they don't genuinely feel the emotions associated with them. Expressing gratitude for having children together could be a way to fit into societal norms or avoid potential judgment from others.
Genuinely Appreciative (Unlikely): It's also possible, although rare, that your ex-husband genuinely recognizes the importance and value of having children, and he expressed his gratitude sincerely. However, this scenario is less likely given the context of narcissistic and sociopathic tendencies.
It's essential to remember that people with narcissistic and sociopathic traits often struggle with genuine empathy and emotional connections. Their behavior can be perplexing, inconsistent, and difficult to comprehend through conventional lenses. If you find that interacting with your ex-husband is causing distress or negatively impacting your well-being, consider setting healthy boundaries and seeking support from friends, family, or a therapist who can help you navigate this situation.