Feeling left out and experiencing social awkwardness in the presence of friends can be a challenging and distressing experience. There could be several reasons contributing to these feelings:
Fear of judgment: You might be afraid of being judged or criticized by your friends, which can make you self-conscious and hesitant to participate in conversations. This fear could be related to concerns about saying something wrong or being perceived as less capable or interesting than others.
Low self-esteem: If you have low self-esteem, you may doubt your worth and feel like you have nothing valuable to contribute to the conversation. This can lead to feeling left out and reluctant to speak up.
Social anxiety: Social anxiety is a common condition where individuals feel extremely nervous and self-conscious in social situations. This can lead to physical symptoms like stuttering, difficulty speaking, or feeling frozen in social interactions.
Communication skills: Sometimes, if you lack confidence in your communication skills, you might struggle to express yourself effectively, leading to feelings of frustration and isolation.
Feeling like an outsider: If your friends have a strong bond or shared interests that you don't entirely connect with, you might feel like an outsider in the group, leading to feelings of being left out.
Previous negative experiences: Past negative social experiences or instances of being excluded can contribute to a fear of repeating those experiences, making it harder to engage in social situations.
Introversion: If you identify as an introvert, socializing can be draining, and you might prefer listening and observing rather than actively participating in conversations.
It's crucial to recognize that these feelings are valid and that many people experience similar challenges. Overcoming these feelings may take time and effort, but there are strategies that can help:
Self-compassion: Be kind to yourself and acknowledge that it's okay to have moments of awkwardness. Everyone experiences social challenges at times.
Practice active listening: Even if you're not actively participating in the conversation, practicing active listening can help you feel more engaged and connected.
Small talk and gradual engagement: Start with small talk or one-on-one conversations with friends before gradually participating in larger group discussions.
Seek support: Talk to someone you trust about your feelings, such as a close friend or a counselor. They can offer understanding and valuable insights.
Build self-confidence: Engage in activities that boost your confidence and self-esteem, which can positively impact your social interactions.
Address social anxiety: If social anxiety is a significant factor, consider seeking professional help from a therapist who specializes in treating social anxiety.
Remember that friendships should be built on understanding, acceptance, and support. True friends will appreciate you for who you are, and being open about your feelings with them can lead to deeper connections and understanding.