There can be various reasons why some people ask others to hang out on the same day or at the last minute and may get upset if the invitation is declined. Understanding these reasons can help you navigate such situations more effectively, especially considering your social anxiety. Here are a few possible reasons:
Spontaneity and Flexibility: Some individuals are naturally spontaneous and prefer making plans on the spur of the moment. They may assume that others are as flexible with their schedules as they are.
Proximity: If the person lives close by or happens to be in the area, they might think it's convenient for you to meet up, not considering the impact of last-minute plans on your social anxiety.
Busy Schedules: People with busy lives may find it challenging to plan in advance, leading them to make last-minute arrangements. They may not fully grasp how anxiety-provoking it can be for someone with social anxiety to cope with such short notice.
Fear of Rejection or Abandonment: Some individuals might feel rejected or abandoned if their invitation is declined, even if the reason is legitimate. They may take it personally, leading to their upset reaction.
Limited Understanding of Social Anxiety: Many people are not fully aware of the complexities and challenges associated with social anxiety. They might not comprehend the level of distress it can cause and the need for more time to mentally prepare for social interactions.
Desire for Spontaneous Connection: The person might genuinely enjoy your company and want to spend time with you whenever they feel like it, without intending to cause stress or discomfort.
To address these situations, here are some strategies you can consider:
Open Communication: If you feel comfortable, explain to your friends that you appreciate their invitations but need more notice to manage your social anxiety effectively. Open communication can help them understand your perspective better.
Boundaries: Don't feel obligated to say yes to every last-minute invitation. Set boundaries and be honest about your availability and comfort level.
Suggest Alternative Plans: If you can't make it on short notice, consider proposing an alternative date or time when you are more at ease and prepared to meet up.
Plan Ahead: When you feel up to it, initiate social plans yourself. This allows you to control the timing and environment, which may help reduce anxiety.
Small Steps: If you want to challenge yourself and gradually confront social anxiety, you can try accepting some spontaneous invitations on your terms, but without pushing yourself too much too soon.
Seek Support: Consider talking to a therapist about your social anxiety. They can help you develop coping strategies and work through challenging social situations.
Remember, it's okay to prioritize your mental well-being. If someone truly cares about you, they will understand your needs and respect your boundaries. As you communicate your preferences and take steps to manage your social anxiety, you'll likely find a balance that allows for social interactions while respecting your comfort levels.