It sounds like you might be experiencing a specific type of social anxiety known as "body dysmorphic disorder" (BDD). Body dysmorphic disorder is a mental health condition characterized by an excessive preoccupation with perceived flaws or defects in one's appearance. People with BDD may spend a significant amount of time thinking about their appearance and engage in repetitive behaviors (e.g., checking mirrors, seeking reassurance from others) or avoid certain situations (like going outside) to prevent others from seeing their perceived flaws.
It's important to remember that mental health conditions like social anxiety and body dysmorphic disorder are treatable, and seeking professional help can make a significant difference in managing these challenges. A mental health professional, such as a therapist or psychiatrist, can provide you with a proper diagnosis and create a personalized treatment plan to address your concerns.
If you haven't already, consider reaching out to a mental health professional to discuss your experiences and feelings. They can offer support, guidance, and appropriate interventions to help you cope with your anxiety and concerns about your appearance. Remember, seeking help is a courageous step towards improving your well-being, and there is no shame in reaching out for support.