It can be challenging when parents continue to treat you as a child, especially when you're trying to assert your independence as a young adult. Here are some strategies you can try to address this issue with your parents:
Open communication: Have an honest and respectful conversation with your parents about how you feel. Let them know that you appreciate their care and concern, but being called "baby" and spoken to like a child makes you feel infantilized and frustrated. Be specific about the language or behaviors that bother you, so they understand the problem clearly.
Express your needs: Share your desire to be treated as an adult and be involved in decisions that affect your life. Explain that you are working on your social anxiety and that part of your growth involves being treated with more autonomy and respect.
Educate them about social anxiety: If your parents don't fully understand social anxiety and its impact on your life, provide them with information about the condition. Help them see that while you may be reserved, you are also capable and growing as an individual.
Set boundaries: Politely but firmly establish boundaries regarding the language and behavior you find uncomfortable. Let them know what you'd prefer to be called or how you'd like to be addressed.
Model assertiveness: Demonstrate to your parents how you wish to be treated by communicating confidently and respectfully. Sometimes, showing them through your actions can be more effective than just telling them.
Involve a neutral party: If you find it difficult to communicate your feelings directly or if your parents are not receptive, consider involving a neutral family member, relative, or even a family therapist to mediate the conversation.
Celebrate your successes: Share your achievements, progress in overcoming social anxiety, or any steps you take toward becoming more independent. Positive reinforcement of your growth can help them see you in a different light.
Understand their perspective: Try to understand why your parents might be treating you this way. They may have their reasons, such as wanting to protect you or feeling nostalgic about your childhood. Understanding their perspective can make it easier to address the issue with empathy.
Be patient: Changing long-standing behaviors can take time. Be patient with your parents as they adapt to treating you differently.
Find support outside the family: Seek support from friends, mentors, or counselors who treat you as the young adult you are. Having positive influences outside of the family can reinforce your sense of independence.
Remember that change may not happen overnight, and it might require ongoing effort. Focus on expressing your needs and maintaining open communication with your parents. Gradually, they may start to see and respect you as the young adult you are becoming.