When someone responds to your compliment by saying "you're just being nice" or "you don't really mean that," it can feel awkward or discouraging. However, there are ways to respond gracefully and reaffirm the sincerity of your compliment. Here are some strategies:
Be sincere and genuine: Reiterate that you genuinely meant the compliment and that you wouldn't say something you didn't mean. Emphasize that you appreciate the person and wanted to express your positive thoughts about them.
Share a specific reason: Provide specific examples or reasons why you offered the compliment. For instance, if you complimented their work, mention the specific aspect that impressed you. This can help demonstrate your sincerity.
Express empathy: Acknowledge that it's sometimes difficult for people to accept compliments, but assure them that you truly meant what you said. Let them know that you understand their perspective but reiterate your intention to be genuine.
Redirect the focus: If the person seems uncomfortable with the attention on them, redirect the conversation to something else positive or related to their achievements. For example, you can ask about their future goals or offer encouragement for their endeavors.
Avoid over-explaining: While it's essential to reaffirm your sincerity, you don't want to sound defensive or over-explain your intentions. Keep your response brief and straightforward.
Give them space: If the person remains unconvinced, don't push the issue further. Sometimes people have difficulty accepting compliments due to their own insecurities or self-doubts. Give them the space to process the compliment in their own way.
Lead by example: Continue to be kind and genuine in your interactions with them and others. Over time, your consistent behavior may help them become more comfortable accepting compliments.
Don't take it personally: Remember that how others react to compliments is not entirely in your control. If they choose not to believe your intentions, it doesn't reflect on you; it's more about their own feelings and beliefs.
Encourage self-appreciation: If appropriate, gently encourage the person to value and appreciate themselves. Share a positive observation about their qualities or accomplishments, encouraging them to see their worth.
Remember, giving compliments is a generous act, and even if someone initially dismisses it, it doesn't diminish the value of your kind words. Be patient, understanding, and continue to be genuine in your interactions. Over time, the person may become more receptive to compliments as they build trust in your sincerity.