It sounds like you might be experiencing anticipatory anxiety when making plans to go out with your friend. Anticipatory anxiety is a common aspect of anxiety where you feel anxious and worried about future events or situations. In your case, the anxiety is triggered by the uncertainty of whether your friend will confirm the plans or not.
Here are a few potential reasons why you might be experiencing this anxiety:
Fear of Rejection: You might be worried that your friend will cancel on you, leading to feelings of rejection or being unwanted.
Fear of Uncertainty: The uncertainty of not knowing whether the plans will be confirmed can be anxiety-provoking, especially if you prefer structure and predictability.
Negative Thought Patterns: You might have negative thought patterns or assumptions about yourself or the situation, such as feeling unworthy of your friend's time or expecting the worst outcome.
Past Experiences: Previous experiences of plans being canceled or feeling let down might contribute to your anxiety about making new plans.
Here are some strategies that may help you manage anticipatory anxiety:
Challenge Negative Thoughts: When you catch yourself thinking that your friend will forget or ditch you, try to challenge those thoughts with more balanced and realistic perspectives. For example, remind yourself that your friend has never ditched you before, so there's no reason to assume it will happen now.
Practice Mindfulness: Engage in mindfulness exercises or meditation to help ground yourself in the present moment and reduce excessive worrying about the future.
Communicate with Your Friend: If you find that waiting for a response is causing you significant distress, consider reaching out to your friend in a friendly manner to ask about the plans. Keep in mind that they may have legitimate reasons for not responding immediately.
Distract Yourself: Engage in activities that you enjoy or that help you relax while waiting for your friend's response. Keeping your mind occupied can prevent excessive rumination.
Set Realistic Expectations: Recognize that everyone has their own schedules and priorities, and sometimes people take time to respond. It doesn't necessarily mean they are disregarding you.
Seek Professional Help: If your anxiety around social situations and making plans is persistent and impacting your daily life, consider talking to a mental health professional. They can provide guidance and support to help you manage your anxiety more effectively.
Remember that it's natural to have some level of anticipation and excitement when making plans with friends. However, if your anxiety becomes overwhelming and starts to interfere with your social life or overall well-being, seeking help and learning coping strategies can make a significant difference in managing your anxiety.