While not all narcissists behave in the same way, it is possible for some narcissistic individuals to compete with their own children. Narcissism is a personality disorder characterized by a grandiose sense of self-importance, a need for excessive attention and admiration, and a lack of empathy for others.
When it comes to their children, narcissistic parents may see them as extensions of themselves rather than as separate individuals with their own needs and desires. As a result, they might view their children's accomplishments or successes as a reflection of their own worth. This can lead to a competitive dynamic where the narcissistic parent feels threatened by their child's achievements and feels the need to outshine or undermine them to maintain their own sense of superiority.
Some ways in which a narcissistic parent might compete with their own children include:
Diminishing the child's achievements: A narcissistic parent might downplay or dismiss their child's accomplishments to avoid acknowledging their child's success, which they might see as a challenge to their own sense of superiority.
Sabotaging the child's efforts: In extreme cases, a narcissistic parent may actively sabotage their child's efforts to succeed or be recognized, as they cannot bear the idea of their child surpassing them.
Taking credit for the child's success: Narcissistic parents may try to take credit for their child's achievements, as they view their children as extensions of themselves. They may feel entitled to claim that their child's success is a result of their own exceptional parenting or genetic traits.
Engaging in constant comparisons: A narcissistic parent may frequently compare their child to others, especially siblings or peers, in an effort to make the child feel inadequate or to maintain control over them.
Using the child as a means to gain attention: A narcissistic parent may exploit their child's achievements or talents to gain attention and admiration from others. They may see their child's success as a way to enhance their own image.
It's important to note that not all parents who exhibit some of these behaviors are necessarily narcissistic, as competitive behavior can occur for various reasons. Additionally, individuals can show narcissistic traits without having a full-blown narcissistic personality disorder.
If you suspect that you or someone you know is dealing with a narcissistic parent or any challenging family situation, seeking support from a mental health professional can be beneficial in understanding and addressing these dynamics.