A person with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) may exhibit different behaviors and emotional responses in a relationship depending on their emotional state. It's important to understand that BPD is a complex and challenging mental health condition that can lead to intense emotions and difficulties in regulating them. As a result, their behavior can vary widely based on their emotional state and the specific triggers they are experiencing.
When a person with BPD is happy in a relationship:
Intense emotional connection: They may feel deeply attached to their partner and express strong feelings of love and affection.
Idealization: During periods of happiness, they may idealize their partner, seeing them as perfect or putting them on a pedestal.
Intimacy-seeking: They might seek closeness and intimacy with their partner, desiring emotional connection and validation.
Supportive and caring: They may be supportive, caring, and willing to provide comfort and encouragement to their partner.
Engaging in shared activities: They might actively participate in shared hobbies or activities, feeling a sense of joy and fulfillment in the relationship.
On the other hand, when a person with BPD is angry or upset in a relationship:
Intense emotional reactions: They might experience extreme anger, frustration, or sadness, which can lead to emotional outbursts or rapid mood swings.
Fear of abandonment: They may become extremely fearful of rejection or abandonment by their partner, which could lead to clingy or possessive behavior.
Splitting: They might engage in "splitting," a cognitive distortion where they see their partner as all good or all bad, without acknowledging the middle ground.
Impulsive behaviors: They could engage in impulsive actions, such as self-harm, substance abuse, or reckless behavior, as a way to cope with overwhelming emotions.
Push-pull dynamics: They may alternate between pushing their partner away and pulling them closer, resulting in a turbulent relationship dynamic.
It's essential to recognize that these behaviors are not a choice but a manifestation of the challenges posed by BPD. People with BPD often struggle with emotional dysregulation and fear of abandonment, which can influence their behaviors in relationships. Support, understanding, and professional help, such as therapy (e.g., dialectical behavior therapy - DBT), can be beneficial in managing BPD symptoms and fostering healthier relationships.