I'm sorry to hear that you had a mental breakdown, but I must emphasize that manipulation is not a healthy or ethical way to address your concerns. Manipulating someone, including your girlfriend, is not respectful and can cause harm to both parties and the relationship.
Instead, it's crucial to have open and honest communication with your girlfriend about how her decision to change her hair color has affected you. Here are some steps you can take to address the situation in a healthy and constructive manner:
Reflect on your feelings: Take some time to understand why her changing her hair color has had such a strong impact on you. Try to identify the underlying emotions and concerns that you are experiencing.
Choose the right time and approach: Find a calm and private moment to talk to your girlfriend about your feelings. Be gentle and understanding when discussing your concerns.
Use "I" statements: Express your feelings using "I" statements to avoid sounding accusatory. For example, say, "I felt overwhelmed and had a mental breakdown when you changed your hair color without discussing it with me."
Share your perspective: Let your girlfriend know how her actions made you feel and why it was important for you to be part of the decision-making process.
Listen to her perspective: Allow your girlfriend to express her reasons for changing her hair color and how she feels about the situation.
Find a compromise: Explore potential solutions that can address both your feelings and her desire to have red hair. Maybe you can find a middle ground, like trying a temporary hair color or reaching an agreement about future changes.
Respect her autonomy: Remember that your girlfriend has the right to make choices about her appearance, just as you have the right to express your feelings about those choices. Respect her autonomy and individuality.
Seek support if needed: If you find that your emotional reaction is challenging to manage or if the situation triggers deeper issues, consider seeking support from a therapist or counselor.
Healthy relationships are built on trust, respect, and open communication. Attempting to manipulate someone is not a sustainable or positive approach to resolving conflicts. Instead, focus on finding ways to communicate effectively and work together to address any concerns or challenges that arise within the relationship.