It is not uncommon for individuals with narcissistic traits to react defensively and aggressively when confronted with their behavior. This can be especially true when someone exposes their abusive or manipulative actions. In such situations, the narcissistic individual may try to shift blame onto the person confronting them, using tactics like gaslighting, manipulation, or projecting their own faults onto others.
Narcissistic parents often have difficulty accepting responsibility for their actions and may view any challenge to their authority or behavior as a threat. They may feel entitled to control others and maintain a perfect image of themselves, even if it means dismissing or invalidating the feelings and experiences of their children.
It is also common for the other parent (in this case, your father) in a narcissistic family to side with the narcissistic parent and enable their behavior. They might do this to avoid conflict, maintain peace in the family, or because they have been manipulated by the narcissistic parent themselves.
As a straight-A student and a good kid, it's essential to recognize that you are not at fault for your mother's abusive behavior. Abuse is never the fault of the victim, regardless of their behavior or actions. It is natural to feel hurt, confused, and distressed when dealing with such difficult family dynamics. Emotional manipulation and gaslighting can leave lasting emotional scars.
If you are feeling overwhelmed or struggling with these emotions, consider seeking support from a mental health professional. A therapist can help you navigate these complex feelings, offer guidance on setting healthy boundaries, and provide tools to cope with the effects of growing up in a narcissistic family.
Remember that healing from the effects of narcissistic abuse takes time, and it's essential to be gentle with yourself throughout this process. Surround yourself with supportive and understanding individuals who can offer empathy and validation for your experiences.