Dealing with a situation like this can be challenging, but open communication and understanding are crucial to finding a resolution. Here are some steps you can take to address the issue and encourage your husband to be more present with your family:
Choose the right time and setting: Find a calm and private moment to talk to your husband about your concerns. Avoid discussing this in the middle of an argument or when he's already feeling stressed.
Use "I" statements: Frame your concerns using "I" statements to express how his behavior affects you and your family. For example, "I feel lonely and overwhelmed when you sleep until 1 pm and spend late nights gaming and smoking pot."
Express your feelings and needs: Let your husband know how important it is for you to have quality time together as a family and how his current habits are impacting your relationship.
Seek to understand: Listen to his perspective as well. Try to understand why he engages in these activities and if there are underlying issues contributing to his behavior.
Set boundaries and expectations: Together, establish clear boundaries and expectations for both of your behaviors, ensuring they are fair and realistic. For example, agree on a reasonable bedtime and wake-up time, allocating specific family time during weekends.
Find compromises: If gaming and smoking pot are activities he enjoys, suggest finding a balance between his hobbies and family time. Encourage him to engage in these activities responsibly and in moderation.
Discuss parenting responsibilities: Talk about how you can share parenting responsibilities more effectively. Make sure he understands the importance of being an active and present parent to your 2-year-old.
Encourage positive habits: Suggest engaging in activities that involve the whole family, such as outings, family games, or other shared interests.
Seek professional help if needed: If his habits seem to be more than recreational and are affecting his ability to be present or function in daily life, it might be appropriate to suggest seeking professional support, such as counseling or therapy.
Lead by example: Demonstrate the behavior you want to see in your husband. Be supportive and engaging as a partner and parent to encourage him to follow suit.
Remember that change takes time, and it's essential to approach the situation with empathy and patience. Be open to ongoing communication and finding solutions that work for both of you and your family. If the situation doesn't improve despite your efforts, seeking professional help or couples counseling can be beneficial in navigating through these challenges together.