Yes, it is entirely okay for you to feel upset and want to distance yourself from your boyfriend if he consistently fails to spend time with you on the days you had planned to hang out. Your feelings and emotions are valid, and it's essential to acknowledge and communicate them in a relationship.
When plans are repeatedly broken or canceled without a valid reason, it can leave you feeling hurt, disappointed, and unimportant. In a healthy relationship, both partners should respect each other's time and commitments. If your boyfriend is not prioritizing your plans together, it can be a sign of a lack of consideration for your feelings or a potential issue in the relationship.
Here are some steps you can take to address the situation:
Communicate your feelings: Talk openly and honestly with your boyfriend about how his cancellations or lack of commitment are making you feel. Use "I" statements to express your emotions without placing blame. For example, say, "I feel hurt and disappointed when our plans get canceled last minute."
Seek understanding: Listen to your boyfriend's perspective to understand why he might be canceling or not prioritizing your time together. It's essential to have a two-way conversation and understand each other's points of view.
Set boundaries: If this behavior continues despite your communication, consider setting boundaries to protect your own emotional well-being. It might mean being more cautious about making plans or expressing your expectations clearly.
Evaluate the relationship: Reflect on the overall dynamics of your relationship. Is this a recurring pattern of behavior, or is it an isolated incident? If this is a chronic issue, it may be worth considering whether the relationship is meeting your needs and making you happy.
Consider external factors: Sometimes, life circumstances can cause changes in plans. Be understanding if your boyfriend has legitimate reasons for canceling, such as work emergencies or family commitments.
Work together on a solution: If both of you are committed to the relationship, find ways to address the issue together. This might involve scheduling regular date nights, communicating more effectively about plans, or making a joint effort to prioritize each other.
Remember that relationships require effort and open communication from both partners. It's essential to express your needs and feelings, while also being willing to listen to your partner's perspective. If you find that your concerns are consistently ignored or dismissed, it might be an indication of deeper relationship issues that need to be addressed. In such cases, seeking the guidance of a relationship counselor or therapist can be beneficial.