Question

My husband says (now after 15 years of marriage) that he never had feelings/affection for me since the start of our relationship. Having two kids, what should I do?

Answer 1

It is entirely normal to have personal boundaries and preferences in a relationship. If you feel uncomfortable with your girlfriend posting bikini pics on social media, it's essential to communicate your feelings openly and honestly with her.

Here are some steps to approach the conversation:

1. Choose the right time and place: Find a private and calm setting to discuss your concerns with your girlfriend. Avoid bringing up sensitive topics in public or during moments of tension.

2. Be respectful and non-judgmental: When discussing your feelings, avoid being accusatory or judgmental. Express your concerns with respect and understanding.

3. Use "I" statements: Share your feelings using "I" statements, such as "I feel uncomfortable when you post bikini pics because it makes me feel insecure."

4. Explain your perspective: Clearly communicate why you feel uncomfortable with the bikini pics. Discuss any concerns you have about privacy, respect, or how it may affect your relationship.

5. Listen to her perspective: Give your girlfriend an opportunity to share her thoughts and feelings on the matter. Be open to understanding her viewpoint as well.

6. Find a compromise: Look for a middle ground that both of you can agree upon. This might involve discussing what types of pictures are acceptable to post and which ones are not.

7. Understand each other's values: Take the time to understand each other's values and beliefs when it comes to social media sharing. This will help create a more empathetic and respectful conversation.

8. Reaffirm your commitment: Remind each other of your commitment to the relationship and the importance of respecting each other's boundaries.

It's important to remember that every relationship is unique, and what might be acceptable for one couple may not work for another. The key is open communication, mutual respect, and finding a compromise that both partners are comfortable with.

Ultimately, the decision should be made together, considering each other's feelings and concerns. If you find that you both have conflicting views that are difficult to reconcile, it might be beneficial to seek the guidance of a couples counselor to help navigate the issue in a supportive and constructive manner.