Discovering that both you and your boyfriend have been dishonest about your past can be a challenging and emotionally charged situation. Here are some steps you can consider taking to address the issue and move forward:
Take Time to Process: Give yourself and your boyfriend some time to process the information and emotions that have come to light. It's essential not to rush into any decisions or reactions while you are both still processing the situation.
Reflect on Your Actions: Take some time to reflect on why you lied in the first place. Understanding the reasons behind your actions can help you address any underlying issues that may have contributed to the dishonesty.
Communicate Honestly: Sit down with your boyfriend and have an open, honest, and non-confrontational conversation about the lies. Be willing to listen to his perspective as well. Communication is key to rebuilding trust and understanding each other's feelings.
Apologize Sincerely: Take responsibility for your actions and apologize sincerely for lying. Express your regret and let your boyfriend know that you understand the impact your dishonesty may have had on him.
Understand His Perspective: Be prepared to listen to your boyfriend's side of the story and understand why he felt the need to lie about his past. This can provide insight into his feelings and motivations.
Assess the Relationship: Consider whether the lies have fundamentally damaged the trust and foundation of the relationship. Assess whether both of you are willing to work on rebuilding trust and whether the relationship is worth saving.
Seek Counseling: If you both want to move forward and rebuild trust but find it challenging to do so on your own, consider seeking the help of a couples' counselor or therapist. A professional can assist you in navigating through the emotions and challenges of rebuilding trust.
Be Patient: Rebuilding trust takes time, and it won't happen overnight. Be patient with yourself and your boyfriend as you work through the process together.
Learn from the Experience: Use this situation as an opportunity for growth and self-improvement. Learn from your mistakes and commit to being more honest and open in the future.
Set Boundaries and Expectations: Establish clear boundaries and expectations for honesty and communication in the relationship moving forward. Make sure both of you are on the same page about what you need from each other.
Ultimately, the decision about how to proceed will depend on the specific circumstances and the willingness of both you and your boyfriend to work through the issues together. It's essential to remember that relationships require effort, understanding, and forgiveness, and it's possible to move forward and rebuild trust if both partners are committed to doing so.