Covert narcissists, like regular or overt narcissists, can emotionally hurt people, but they do so in a more subtle and less obvious manner. While overt narcissists display their grandiosity and entitlement openly, covert narcissists tend to present themselves as more sensitive, shy, or introverted. They may appear to be caring and empathetic on the surface but have a hidden agenda of self-centeredness and manipulation. Here are some ways in which covert narcissists emotionally hurt people:
Manipulative behavior: Covert narcissists are skilled at emotional manipulation. They may use guilt, pity, or sympathy to control others and get what they want. They play the victim card to gain empathy and attention from others, all the while subtly manipulating them for their own benefit.
Gaslighting: Covert narcissists employ gaslighting techniques to make their victims doubt their own perceptions, memories, and sanity. They may deny things they said or did, making their victims question their own reality and leaving them feeling confused and emotionally distressed.
Emotional invalidation: Covert narcissists may undermine or dismiss their victims' feelings and emotions, making them feel unheard and invalidated. They may belittle the emotions of others, making them doubt the legitimacy of their own emotional experiences.
Passive-aggressive behavior: Covert narcissists often express their aggression indirectly through passive-aggressive behaviors. They may use sarcasm, backhanded compliments, or silent treatment to convey their disapproval or dissatisfaction, causing emotional pain to those on the receiving end.
Love-bombing and devaluation: Like overt narcissists, covert narcissists may engage in love-bombing initially, showering their targets with affection and attention. However, once they have gained their victim's trust and dependence, they may devalue and discard them, causing emotional turmoil and self-doubt in their victims.
Triangulation: Covert narcissists may triangulate their victims by involving others in their relationships or conflicts, creating tension and insecurity among the people involved.
Lack of empathy: While covert narcissists may present themselves as caring and empathetic, their empathy is often superficial. They lack genuine concern for others and are more focused on fulfilling their own needs and desires.
Boundary violations: Covert narcissists may disregard the boundaries of others, invading their personal space or disregarding their preferences and feelings.
It's important to remember that not everyone who displays some narcissistic traits is a narcissist. However, dealing with a covert narcissist can be emotionally draining and damaging. If you suspect you are dealing with a narcissistic individual and find yourself consistently hurt or manipulated in the relationship, seeking support from a therapist or counselor can be beneficial in understanding the dynamics and developing healthy coping strategies.